Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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