I want to stick my p in your. b.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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