the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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