SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's always time for handjobs
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize