don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize