i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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