Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
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I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
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He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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