I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize