You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
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