Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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