meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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