So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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