I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize