Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
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Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
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you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize