no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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