I murdered the dance floor call the cops
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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