it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize