If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize