ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize