Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
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So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
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Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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