I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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