my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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