So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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