That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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