meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize