This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
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Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
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I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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