If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize