Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Also, beer. Big fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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