Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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