Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize