I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize