Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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