oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
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We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
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You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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