I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May the power of my ass compel you!!
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize