he wants to bone in the snuggie
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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