Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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