lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
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