And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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