I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
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I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
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She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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