sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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