Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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