my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize