she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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