The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
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I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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