shes about as inviting as chlamydia
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize