Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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