Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
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I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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