Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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