Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize