watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
My breasts were aching with rage.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
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